What is INTERNAL FAMILY SYSTEMS (IFS)?
Introduction
Internal Family Systems (IFS) is a gentle, respectful, and non-pathologising form of therapy that can address a wide range of emotional and psychological challenges.
SELF and Parts
In IFS, the notion that minds are one thing (monolithic) is challenged. Instead, IFS therapists fervently believe that our minds are made of parts, who ideally most of the time gravitate around a compassionate, curious and courageous core, which is referred to as Self.
In IFS, Self is our core — a compassionate, calm, and wise presence within us. It’s not easy to define, but it shows up through qualities like curiosity, courage, clarity, and compassion. IFS suggests that no matter what we’ve been through, we all have access to this Self-energy. (the 7 C’s: compassion, clarity, connectedness, courage, curiosity, calm, creativity).
Psychological issues according to IFS
A way to understand how psychological difficulties can be conceptualised in IFS is thinking that parts stop gravitating harmoniously around the core of Self and start taking the seat of Self. This becomes an impediment to expressing and living by the Self qualities mentioned above.
An Example of Parts at work
A typical example I offer to clients is when we get angry and say and do things that feel right in the moment, but then, on reviewing what we did and said, we might feel guilty, remorseful and or even confused. For example, we might think that we are horrible people for having acted that way or we do not recognise ourselves in those past actions. In IFS, this can be explained by understanding that an angry part took over and sat in the driving seat and did something that felt compelling at the time – for example hurting someone who hurt us. Feeling guilty, self-critical or confused are the consequence of other parts taking over in order to make sense of what happened or re-establish some balance within ourselves.
IFS is non-pathologising
You will probably begin appreciating why IFS is non-pathologising. It all starts to make sense when we map our parts and recognise that they have an agenda, which is often – if not always – to help us. It is non-pathologising because the work in IFS does not translate into pushing parts away or shaming them, but the aim is to connect with them, understand them and ultimately help them. So even the most difficult behaviours, like problem drinking or taking drugs, can be compassionately understood through that lens.
Trauma and negative life experiences makes Parts work harder for us
The more difficult and traumatic experiences we have lived or we live through, the more our parts feel like they have no choice but to intervene to help us. Parts can be protectors or exiles. A typical protective part is a part that can make us feel angry, like in the example above. Underneath those protectors, there are more vulnerable parts of us (for example, our inner child) who have been hidden or cast away in order to keep the emotional pain away – sometimes in the vain attempt to forget such pain. Those parts are called exiles. Exiles need our Self energy to heal, but only if and when the protectors can trust our Self and believe that Self can handle the pain the exiles carry.
What’s the Role of an IFS Therapist
The role of therapists in IFS is not to be hands-on healers, for example by re-parenting the client, but to offer a compassionate healing space for the client’s Self to show and do the actual healing. In a way, what the therapist does is to lend their Self-energy in variable amounts, depending on how difficult it is for the client to access their own Self-energy. As I said, the more troubled our past and present, the less Self-energy is accessible within ourselves. Think of a blue sky (Self) covered by a number of clouds of different sizes (parts). The more and bigger the clouds, the less visible the sky will be. The task of an IFS therapist is to help the client identify those clouds, befriend and understand them, and help them trust the client’s Self. Eventually, the client’s Self can finally take over with its compassion and calm and heal the exiles’ suffering that the protectors have been hiding or keeping away. This all happens whilst always keeping in mind that the sky of Self is always behind those clouds and its healing energy, which is innate within us, can be accessed and it’s a never-ending resource.
Book Recommendation
I imagine that the content of this page might sound exciting or confusing or hopeful or all of the above. If you want to deepen your knowledge on IFS, I recommend a fantastic book written by the creator of the IFS model, Richard Schwartz. The book is called ‘No Bad Parts’.
Interested in IFS?
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